Zeeyqa, Fourteen, Malaysian.
I'm not your Barbie doll. Weird and random. Lovestruk idiot. Broken and fragile. A big mess. Mayday Parade and Simple Plan. Alternative rock. Vampire Diaries and The Orignals, Damon Salvatore and Niklaus Mikaelson. I don't believe in forever. When I fall, I fall hard. Giving too much fucks is my problem. Bruises, cuts and scars. I don't let you see the good in me. I love and I hate. Trying to live life to the fullest. This is who I am. Infinite x's and o's.
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Monday, 4 June 2012 @ 00:06


I remember back when I was in primary school... I wasn't the most popular or smartest or prettiest girl in school. I didn't even want to... [Until now, I still don't.] I was just an average girl but... I was strong, I was unbreakable, I was the girl who I am not today. I was different back then.

I was a happy cherish girl. 

I didn't give a damn about anything people said. Whatever you said, it wouldn't kill me. I wouldn't cry myself to sleep. I wouldn't feel pain. I was strong. I didn't care a word that came out from your mouth. I did not care at all. But, why did I change?
From unbreakable to breakable.
From strong to crumbled. 

I wanted to be the old me again. 

I tried...

But, I failed to do so. I don't know how the hell I can be 'that girl' and... I don't know what happened to me. 

Two-thousand-eleven. Everything started to change. Everything. I went to a new school. A school that gives me a lot of challenges and a school that changes me. At first, I loved there but, as time flied, I realized how much miserable I was in the school. I miss my old school so much. My old school that gave me good and bad memories but those memories are unforgettable. I didn't even want to forget them. They are the stories that I am going to tell to my grandchildren. 

When I was ten, I wanted to be beautiful inside and outside, smart and loved. I just wanted to be happy and had fun because that was my definition of life. 

Now... I just want to run away from this mess up world. I want to be happy. I am tired of being like this. 
If I could start my life all over again, I would.